It sometimes feels like things are severely split in our country right now. According to the media, social media, public polls, and even what we see with our own eyes, it appears Americans are more divided than ever before. There has even been talk of another “civil war,” a thought that transformed from being just talk into violent action at the Capitol on January 6, 2021.

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However, we don’t believe the division is nearly as bad as it looks on paper. Okay, we get it. We're fully aware that our politics – especially since Donald Trump burst onto the scene – has divided families, destroyed marriages, and decimated lifelong friendships and that stress caused by our politics has caused the mental health of many Americans to suffer. We also know that our uber divided electorate has made our country a target of malicious online influence operations by our enemies and that some people are brazen bullies and complete jerks on social media. Heck, even a 9x6 piece of cloth used to cover one’s face and taking an old man and a barrel off a restaurant logo caused ridiculously huge political uproars.

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But we can say this with absolute certainty: The hateful posts, angry rants, and violent scenes that seem to dominate the media and social media are not a true reflection of America or Americans. When we are all our best selves, none of those ugly words and images show who we really are. Not even close.

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Think about a day in your life. A typical day doesn’t include your seeing people pushing, shoving, or yelling insults at one another in the grocery store or in the pick-up line at your kid’s school. In fact, it’s usually the exact opposite. We smile at one another. We help one other. We look out for one another. We visit the sick, we volunteer for good causes, we carry groceries for those who can’t, we give rides to work, we help with one another’s children.

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We donate money, time, food, and free services to those affected by government shutdowns, international pandemics and wildfires. We are people who, in an emergency – without a moment’s hesitation and with no assessment of skin color – reach our hands into dirty water in hurricane-battered Louisiana, Florida and North Carolina to lift fellow citizens in need, while others carry the oldest and youngest on their backs to safety. We lend blankets, warm clothes, and generators to those who have no water or power during an ice storm and invite complete strangers into our homes to provide comfort.

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… and before we do any of these things for other people, we don’t ask them who they voted for in the last election. Nope, we just do the nice thing. This is who we are. We are Americans, dammit! And we are truly wonderful people! So then, why do we feel like one half of America hates the other half? Why do we feel so attacked? Why do we feel so misunderstood? Why do we at times feel so hopeless?